style statement.

my style. this could be me.

but digging deeper now with a few questions from Style Statement...

I love: digital photography, polaroids, the fall season, orchids, being barefoot, music, drinking wine and sitting curled up on a couch with blankets, driving with the windows down, making the perfect playlist to fit any occasion, ideas and images, dreams, rain when i'm falling asleep,  a day of solitude followed by a few of friendship, cooking, traveling, concerts, down comforters, ripping up magazines, playing with my hair, folky acoustic tunes, antique shopping, escaping to small towns, a long hike, mountain scenery, reading poetry, laying in bed watching movies, singing (especially harmony), healthy book appetites, the library, the smell of books,  team building, icebreakers, cuddling, painting, painting for people, beautiful words and their power, giraffes, coffee shops, big leather chairs, sour cream, cheese, journaling, typography, men with guitars, going out to eat, .being independent, porch sitting with the queens of my heart, my extremely close family, grilling out and outdoor games,  flea markets. 

I want to travel: to italy and retreat to a tuscan villa for a few weeks. or to a remote cabin in colorado. or to san francisco or austin texas or santa fe, or greece, or AUSTRALIA!  yeah all of those.

Philosophy on money: it is the source of so many of my worries these days. i wish that wasn't true. i wish i just thought it was something to spend when you have it or whatever, but that would require having enough of it, and that is definitely not the case for me right now. there are so many things i wish i could do and money is hindering me.

One outfit for the rest of my life: skinny jeans, soft, longish v-neck tshirt, some sort of sandal, chunky silver jewelry, my "signature" jacket on the side draped over a big sac for a bag.  or if its cold  tall, worn brown boots, skinny jeans (or leggings), big oversized grandpa sweater that covers my hands, scarf

I find sexy: tan feet, confidence, determination, passion for something, decision maker, listener, good advice, height, firm faith, sarcasm, rare names, a little awkwardness (quirk), and give me comfy casual any day. i've gone for the prep, the jock,  the mountain main, the emo artist, but they have all possessed some (if not all) of these qualities. 

My philosophy on friendship: I'm a loyal friend and completely compassionate. My life would not be complete without my friends and I am often so anxious to be surrounded by them. I don't like to miss out on any chance to bond, get to know, or spend time with my favorite people in my life. However, I've been known to give too much at the cost of my happiness. I do treasure and need my solitude to re energize but I don't like to say no. I trust easily but lately I’ve had to learn to let some friendships go that were bringing my energy down – it always hurts.  

Art that has moved me (only some) : visually- SABRINA WARD HARRISON, SARK, Tara Moser. literarily- anne lamott, rumi, anne lindbergh, liz gilbert, e.e. cummings.  to the ears- eva cassidy, mary chapin carpenter, patty griffin, james taylor, so so much.

Tools of my trade: my cameras, my computers, my journals, my eyes, my hands.

My inner rhythm: ebbs and flows. was never a morning person growing up but recently have learned to rise and shine. this morning i sang in my car full voice, surprising myself i was actually that awake. but mostly, after the 3-4pm wall i hit, i am newly energized by the thought of an evening activity. by "bedtime" i rarely want to quit what i'm doing just to be responsible and fall asleep. 

Favourite scent: CAMPFIRE. but others...  grass. rain on pavement. books. sharpies.

I nourish my well-being: with books and gathered quotes and constantly image/idea browsing through blogs. i'll go on walks with my camera just to see what I can see. and i sit on my bed in my room, in the center of books, art tools, listening to the likes of ray lamontagne, kate havnevik, cat stevens, iron&wine, or other soft acoustic treasures. lots of soulful time with my family and closest friends, as well.

I feel uncomfortable: when there is a quick and sudden change in peoples' energies. when i think i know what they're thinking and feeling and how to interact with them one day and the next, i can no longer relate. i lose track of what i am supposed to do with myself sometimes. and presentations. hate those. 

A completely outrageous thing I’d like to own: a vanigan. a bagpipe. or a zipline from my roof to my backyard lake. or a pet pig named HAMlet.

Very interested in: helping others to look inside themselves to find their true voice; sharing what I know, especially in art therapy working with human trafficking victims, former boy soldiers. 

A small part of me: yearns to find him. 

Creative means to me: danger, risk, bohemian, freedom and wildflowers, camera, writing, journaling,  to belong, inspiring, sharing, mess making, no boundaries, no lines.

Sensual means to me: soft cottons, lips, perfumed, his musk, delicious, intimate quarters, classic bathtubs, the woods, fireplace, letters, red wine, rain, secrets, flirty, intermingled,  confident, knowing and being known.

(via ink on my fingers)

(via i.anton)

summer is lush & overgrown, brimming with pattern, and drenched in color.

summer is the ocean – the blue gray grit of salt air, weathered wood and smooth rocks.

summer is small island towns and a sense of community.

summer is fleeting.

my heart for the issue of human trafficking.

a friend of mine, morgan perry, has worked with a very talented group of students to do what i wish i had the opportunity to do. she has taken photos and put together this slideshow in an effort to raise awareness on the issue. 

their project, sex + money, is something to be talked about and supported.

to me, you are perfect.

oh anthropologie. how you tempt me. tease me. entice me. intrigue me. inspire me. 

unreal.

HP - invent from Tom and Matt on Vimeo.

When it's over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.

- Mary Oliver

I don't want a developed web site right now. I'm not a developed artist. I mean, I was. three times now. 

But to evolve you have to dismantle, and that means accepting the idea that nothing you've created in the past matters anymore, except that it brought you here.
To pick up your new marching orders. 

I want to use a blog to truly tell you who I am. 
I don't want to link to someone else's culture, 
like a titanium dinette set with chairs that look like little tables and a table that looks like a giant chair. 
That says nothing about me that I want you to know. 

I want you to learn about me through the process of writing, recording and producing my fourth album. 

I want to host an Open House for bright things and dark things, for lame jokes and sad chords, and for melodies that lift me off the ground.

I want to be less fun at parties, and find it hard to meet new people.
I want to be happier in the house than out of it. 
I want to be fearless and remember not to compromise a thing, until the work is done and it's time to shorten it for the radio. 

I want to be myself and shut the rest out. Except for the people I love. (This means you.) 

Two things I'll be acknowledging more from now on...
1.Thank you. 
2.I am lucky. 

I'm writing my Battle Studies.
And this time you're coming with me. 

LOVE
JM

john mayer's blog might contain some of THE most genuine stuff i've read, heard, or seen in a while. i heard someone say the other day that he's only in it for the money. one scroll through this transparent blog of his and you can see/taste/experience the man behind the music. highly. HIGHLY. anticipating his fourth album. however, in the meantime, i enjoy sharing in the experience of his inevitable artistic struggles and successes.

making my monday a little easier:

1. these dream images  au de fil. 

2. ben taylor- so much like his dad and he is yet another folky-barefoot-lanky-tattooed-guitar player. and i always appreciate those. 

3. discovering my style statement.

4. totally making this peach pizza for dinner tonight. a total bachelorette meal while i watch jill make her decision!!!

and still adding...

peonies!

i want these flowers. and these outfits. especially this wedding dress. stat.

just drive.

on my drive to work this morning, i had my ipod on random shuffle. a familiar band filtered through my saab speakers and i was flooded with memories. to those of you who know me well, you know that i can almost always associate a memory, a person, a mood, etc with a song. it's always been this way for me. a passion and tendency that i most certainly inherited from my dad since i have never known another individual who more frequently refers back to melodies for life answers. 

acoustic finger picking always makes me breathe deep. and i am in motion. inside a car. driving down an empty fall road. and it's either early morning, before the world wakes, or my other favorite time of day, dusk. and the sun through the leaves dances on the interior of the car. i breathed just as deeply every time i visited bar harbor, maine. specifically acadia national park. even more specifically--jordan pond, possibly my favorite place on earth. 

for me, there is nothing more rich. and i have no idea if it's just because of who i am, or if this feeling came from practice. growing up in new hampshire granted many a back road drive. i used to joke that i knew every back road from connecticut to maine. and perhaps that was the truth.

back road driving, navigating through trees, makes me think of it all. early morning in the way to school. afternoon driving on the way home from track practice. after dinner driving to UNH to grab my first love and bring him back to my house for a movie, night driving on my way home from a bonfire on the beach. i drove. in nh nothing is close and you just do it. so i learned to love it. 

and then in college. it's one of the reasons i loved harrisonburg, va so much. making long weekend drives to the airport or through the mountains to charlottesville on skyline drive or adventures to go camping or to "blue hole." it's a common theme. i see that now. now, living in the city of chicago, i get lost all the time. city/highway driving scares me. makes me anxious. my best friend zips and dashes and cuts and swerves his way through this fast-paced town. me? i take what i can get on my long-ish commute to work. i hop on the highway and at least it's straight forward from there. long drives again. it feels like home.

these days, the mornings have been nothing short of refreshing. as soon as i step out the door of my cozy home and into the morning, i breathe that same deep inhale. because it's the kind of crisp temperature that always begs me to do so. i breathe deep and force my feet to climb into my car. force them to support the gas and brake pedals on my way to work. they know if i had my way, i'd let them keep driving. past my exit. past my office. straight to wisconsin. or further to colorado. then on to montana. and then up to oregon and over to seattle and ultimately to vancouver. i will go there someday. i will live one of those places.

it's those fall drives that center me the most. for 12 years i retreated back every weekend to bar harbor with my family. the earliest memories are from the back seat. dad would roll the sunroof back. "get up there, jordanbug!" and i'd be through the roof, arms in the air, chin up, wind through my hair, breathing deep. mom and dad tickle my tummy from down below. giggling as i feel their guiding hands. they tickled but i know now they were only making sure i didn't fall. arms propped on the roof and there is warmth. warmth in spurts on my face as the sun scatters through the leaves of red, gold, brown, aubergine. 

back roads. long drives. no direction. just for the drive. thats what life to fullest means to me. 

even though i don't necessarily believe in pink...

dreamer.

this is a fact of my life. but brooke says it far better than i. hence the reason why i made it my profile mantra.

via twenty two fourteen.

“You must write every single day of your life. You must lurk in libraries to sniff books like perfumes & wear books like hats upon your crazy heads. May you be in love every day for the next 20,000 days. & out of that love, remake a world.”

--Ray Bradbury--

elizabeth gilbert: ideas worth spreading

"we've completely internalized and accepted collectively, the notion that creativity and suffering are somehow inherently linked and that artistry in the end will always ultimately lead to anguish. and the question that i want to ask here tonight is 'are you guys all cool with that idea?' it's better to encourage our creative minds to live! so the question becomes how? maybe it doesn't have to be quite so full of anguish if you never happened to believe in the first place that the most extraordinary aspects of your being came FROM you, but maybe if you just believed that they were on loan TO you from some unimaginable source for some exquisite portion of your life to be passed along when you are finished somebody else. when you start to think about it this way, it changes everything. don't be afraid. don't be daunted. just do your job. continue to show up for your piece of it, whatever that might be. olay to you, none the less, just for having the sheer human love and stubbornness to keep showing up."

"My suggestion is that you start with the love and then work very hard and try to let go of the results. Cast out your will, and then cut the line. Please try, also, not to go totally freaking insane in the process. Insanity is a very tempting path for artists, but we don’t need any more of that in the world at the moment, so please resist your call to insanity. We need more creation, not more destruction. We need our artists more than ever, and we need them to be stable, steadfast, honorable and brave – they are our soldiers, our hope. If you decide to write, then you must do it, as Balzac said, “like a miner buried under a fallen roof.” Become a knight, a force of diligence and faith. I don’t know how else to do it except that way. As the great poet Jack Gilbert said once to young writer, when she asked him for advice about her own poems: “Do you have the courage to bring forth this work? The treasures that are hidden inside you are hoping you will say YES.”

-elizabeth gilbert-

i can't wait to see...

fame.



post grad.


the time traveller's wife.


new moon.


the ugly truth.


spring awakening.

best wedding toast. ever.

someone organize this for my wedding toast. stat.

coral.

i love everything about these bridesmaids. including the mustaches.

bathe. eat. sleep.

bathe.

eat.

sleep.

on the list for future must-haves.

log bowls. a must have for my future home. that i don't have yet. 

picture me someday.

i dream about some of these in my future. but especially a red adirondack. on a pier. looking out on my lake in colorado. my family off somewhere behind me playing with the goldens. me-pen in mouth, contemplating the next characters of the next line in my next book. can't get enough of this picture. i've printed it out for my dream board in my room.

oh lover.

this book by chris craymer makes me want to fall in love. now.